June 14, 2024

IELTS GENERAL WRITING TASK 2 For 8 bands: Positive or Negative

IELTS GENERAL WRITING BAND 8

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?


In contemporary society, the use of smartphones has shifted from being a mere necessity to an ingrained habit across all age groups. This trend is particularly concerning when it comes to children. I believe this is a negative development, and I will discuss several reasons for this phenomenon.

Firstly, the demanding work schedules of parents often leave them with little time to focus on their children’s upbringing. Parents, caught up in their hectic routines, find it challenging to engage with their toddlers meaningfully. To keep their children occupied, they often resort to giving them smartphones. At a young age, children are naturally curious, and the flashy screens and engaging sounds of smartphones are highly entertaining for them. Consequently, companies developing smartphone applications specifically for children have seen a significant increase in their user base.

Secondly, the recent pandemic has exacerbated this issue. With schools closed for extended periods, often spanning one to two years, the only viable option for continuing education was through online classes. Parents had no choice but to provide their children with iPads, mini laptops, or smartphones to attend virtual school. This dependency on electronic devices for educational purposes has led to an increased addiction to these gadgets, even after children have resumed physical schooling.

I contend that this trend is detrimental because excessive smartphone usage can have severe repercussions on children’s mental and physical health. Prolonged exposure to screens is scientifically proven to impair eyesight and can lead to various mental health issues. Furthermore, children engrossed in their devices often neglect physical activities and become isolated from the real world. Over time, this results in an unhealthy lifestyle and a decline in self-confidence. For example, many children today are addicted to short-form content on platforms like TikTok and YouTube. A recent study revealed that the attention span of children has dropped to less than two seconds, which is a deeply concerning development.

In conclusion, it is imperative for parents and educational institutions to collaborate in addressing this negative trend. They must explore and implement better alternatives to smartphones that can help children develop their mental and physical abilities more effectively.


Evaluation:

  1. Task Response (TR): The essay fully addresses the task, presenting a clear argument against excessive smartphone use among children and providing relevant reasons and examples.
  2. Coherence and Cohesion (CC): The essay is well-organized, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point. The use of transition words and phrases ensures a smooth flow of ideas.
  3. Lexical Resource (LR): The vocabulary is varied and sophisticated, demonstrating a good command of language. Phrases like “ingrained habit,” “detrimental development,” and “exacerbated this issue” add to the richness of the essay.
  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): The essay exhibits a good range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences. There are no major grammatical errors, contributing to clarity and readability.

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